SATURDAY 12/29 • Miami’s Junior Orange Bowl Parade: Although the Orange Bowl will not be played in the Orange Bowl, the Junior Orange Bowl Parade will be the same good wholesome fun it always has been! Marching bands from across the county, including the Miami Springs Senior High, St. Andrew’s Bagpipe Band, North Miami Beach High and the Drew Middle School Marching Barracudas strut their stuff, and you can always count on seeing the Shriners in their little cars. The parade takes place along Miracle Mile from Ponce de Leon Boulevard to Le Jeune Road in Coral Gables at 7:00 p.m. Call 305-662-1210 or visit jrorangebowl.com.
SUNDAY 12/30 • Celebrity is a dubious title in some settings, none more original than the King Mango Strut–poking fun at all the craziness that is life here in paradise. This year’s parade will be hosted by the Chongalicious Girls! Not since Joey Buttafuoco was scheduled to introduce Andrew “Dice” Clay concert in Madison Square Gardens has anything seemed a more perfect match!
Be there at 2:00 p.m., December 30th at Commodore Plaza in the Grove. Bring your Sharpie!
MONDAY 12/31 • FIREWORKS! If you plan to watch some fireworks this New Year’s Eve, the popular vote for the biggest and best fireworks display is downtown Miami’s Bayfront Park. And best of all, it’s free. They also do the Big Orange ball drop like Times Square.
The Miami Herald has a comprehensive list of New Year’s Eve events if you are still wondering what there is to do here in paradise. What isn’t there?! It’s a who’s who of celebrities around town:
Kim Kardashian at Mansion,
Mansion: Kim Kardashian hosts with music by DJs Colleen Shannon and Ted the Dillinger; 9 p.m. Dec. 31; Mansion, 1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; $200. 305-531-5535.
Carmen Electra at (Parrot) Jungle Island (and Zo and Dwayne Wade),
Royale Ball: Carmen Electra and Alonzo Mourning host the event with dinner, aerial acts and music by a DJ. A portion of proceeds benefits several charities, including the Alonzo Mourning Foundation; 7:30 p.m. Dec. 31; Jungle Island, 1111 Parrot Jungle Tr., Watson Island; $500 for general admission, $1,000 for VIP. 786-251-1892.
Shannon Elizabeth at the Sagamore or the Catalina?
Sagamore: Actress Shannon Elizabeth hosts with music by DJs Vanjee, Ari Quinn, Schuller and Tommy Ryk; 9 p.m. Dec. 31; Sagamore, 1671 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; $200 which includes a one day pass to the Miami Metrozoo. Table packages start at $350. 305-993-1008.
Happy Zoo Year: Models Joanna Krupa and May Anderson and Shannon Elizabeth host the event which benefits the Zoological Society of Florida and features music by DJ Irie; 8 p.m. dinner, 9 p.m. cocktail party Dec. 30; Catalina Hotel, 1720 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; $300 for dinner, $175 for the cocktail party. 305-255-5551.
MONDAY 12/31 • COMEDY . . . 
Laugh in the New Year with Lewis Black .
Fans of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart will recognize Lewis Black from his hilarious rants on the “Back in Black” segments. (Check out the “pantheon of nothingness” for a taste of Black’s cutting commentary.)
Read the Miami Herald interview for more of Black’s entertaining views.
9:00 p.m. at The Fillmore (Jackie Gleason Theater)
1700 Washington Avenue, Miami Beach.
Ticketmaster Cost: $58.50-$87.50
. . . Or see Gary Owen at the Miami Improv. So funny he’s the only white guy ever to host BET’s Comic View. The ticket price for the evening includes an hors d’oeuvres platter with baked brie, lamb chops, shrimp cocktail, filet mignon kabobs, fruit, and cheeses, and a champagne toast at midnight.
3390 Mary Street (ground floor of the Mayfair), Coconut Grove
Show starts at 10:00 p.m. Tickets are $57.50 per person.
For more information call 305-441-8200.