As a nod to American Idol
“PANTS ON THE GROUND”
I’ve been selling real estate over 25 years and have had many “stories” to tell, but this is a first !
I was showing a very nice lady and her friend properties in the north central section of Broward County and most of them were vacant. We were at the last house, and then returned to the car to discuss our tour. Just as we were backing on to the street, the buyer says in an alarmed voice, “Something is biting me.” She proceeds to jump out of the car, brushing on her pants, and then all of a sudden she’s taking off her pants……in the middle of the road.
Interestingly her friend and I were not infested by this onslaught of vermin so we’re sitting quietly while she tries to rid herself of whatever is biting her. Finally she gets them off of her, and we seal her pants in a plastic bag. She thinks that they are fleas. I tell her a place where she can get some flea spray as I take her back to her car. Of course, the bug attack ended the real estate conversation. I immediately head to the car wash for a vacuum and shampoo. Then I spray the car carpet until I can’t breathe.
The next day I awake with bug bites around by waist. I’m wondering if I have the chicken pox or spiders or God forbid, fleas. I strip the bed, go to the store and find some flea spray, and then spray the carpet in my bedroom until my trigger finger is impaired. I ask my friends as to the appearance of fleas. I show them little bugs from my house that I have collected. They tell me their flea stories. I am now officially paranoid. I itch wondering if I am infested or if it’s just my nerves overreacting. I wear house shoes all the time because I have so much flea powder on the carpet I’m afraid I’ll be poisoned. I sprayed the bedroom so much that I’m now sleeping in the guest room.
Hopefully they are all gone. That’s if I ever had them in the first place, but the good news is we have an accepted contract, but not on the flea house.
So buyers and agents beware! Fleas or some kind of bugs will bite you if they’ve been cooped up in a vacate house. So be a good Boy or Girl Scout and be prepared. Carry bug spray in your car.
Ode to a Flea
by Linda Sammarco
I took my client on a tour.
We saw some homes, but she got more.
She stepped into a nest of fleas.
Realtors, spray your properties please.
Here’s the link to American Idol’s hit from last year “Pants on the Ground.”
